Posts
Fred's younger female sibling is ALL ABOUT rainwater collection reservoirs He's so proud of his little cistern. According to Tom Petty, fly fishing has many challenges, but the wading is the hardest part. Fred's son was in bad shape after his girlfriend dumped him, so Fred bought him a Playstation and an Xbox. That really helped console him. Fred doesn't win Marathons because he's lucky. He win because he's driven
Now that an executive order has been signed to make Lake Ontario Lake America… Does that make Canada Geese Donald Ducks? Fred makes a hobby of photographing salmon in different outfits. He says it’s as easy as shooting fish in apparel. Fred has written a song about a locksmith. There’s a lovely key change at the end. Fred thought getting into the bubble wrap industry would make him a rich man. Instead, he ended up a pauper.
Tariffs are going to make toilet paper more expensive for americans, as a bunch (excuse the pun) is imported from Canada. Here's an interesting stat: the US accounts for more than 20% of global tissue consumption despite having only 4% of the world’s population. The average American uses 141 rolls of toilet paper per year, making them No 1 for No 2s globally. This is proof they're the biggest assholes.
Most of the knights during the middle ages were only moderately terrible. They were mid-evil. A lumberjack was having a hard time at school. Anytime he saw his homework he was stumped, just couldn't hack it. Fred is opening a funeral parlor for people of no specific faith. He's calling it Die Agnostic Services. Fred and his wife used to deal marijuana. The money they made went into their joint account.
Fred quit as a taxi driver. He got tired of people talking behind his back . Next time you have to complain about something, save it for the warehouse party. That way you can rant and rave. Fred makes Moebius strips for living. It is a strange way to make ends meet. What do you call a lactose intolerant they/them? Non buy-dairy.
The floral scent used in the vatican? Pope-pourri. They say 'the machines of the future' will be as smart as people... OK, but WHICH people? Because it kinda matters quite a bit. Everyday at work all Fred thinks about is big game hunting, but he finally got the help he needed... He joined elkaholics anonymous. The favourite musical instruments of the MAGA set? Trumpbone and lyre
The phenomenon where you think something is repeating but you are bad at recognizing faces? Déjà who? A local pharmacy is having a clearance sale on laxatives. Everything must go! Fred said his job at the zoo isn’t easy. It is quite difficult to ignore the elephant in the room. Fred had to cancel his surfing lessons. Luckily the fee was waved.
A chicken has laid the world's tiniest egg… Farmers say that's gonna be hard to beat. Some chocolate factory workers started a hip-hop group. They called themselves The Candy Bar Rappers. Fred is no expert on masturbation, but he holds his own. Envelopes carry letters but without an address it takes one to no one.
Fred had an obsessed girlfriend once, she looked at him and all she saw was diamonds and rubies. Her name was Gemini. People who cannot tell the difference between etymology and entomology…. …bug me in a way I cannot put into words. Shotgun wedding: A wife or death situation. Fred is a bankrupt historian. His business lies in ruins. He tried pivoting to archaeology but his business model was already in a state of decay.
