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When Van Gogh got in trouble with his mom, did he ever get an earful? I told my friend that my wife’s a genius: she married me. Then I was reminded… opposites attract. I read an in depth article about how humanoid apes evolved to not have tails. It was very detailed. I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions. What's the point? People will often avoid eating spicy food because they hate the way it feels coming out the other end, but they don't understand... ...it's about the journey, not the defecation. I saw a great movie about databases. I can’t wait for the SQL. Fred said to his plumber "I gotta leak in my sink." Plumber said, “Go ahead. I’m not judging.” Some guy sent me an email saying he would come and wash all my clothes, but that I had to send him one of my shirts first. Turns out it was the Nigerian rinse scam. Nobody laughs at any of Fred's jokes about rims, borders, and sides. His sense of humor is
Schrodinger brought his cat to the vet. The vet says "I have good news and I have bad news". The coolest dude in the hospital? The ultra sound guy. Apple is launching a new device that can tell a pun at the push of a button. They're calling it the iRoll. I’ve started taking engraving lessons. There’s still so much to learn, we’ve only just scratched the surface. Don't ever have multiple people wash dishes together. It's hard for them to stay in sink. A survey done on meat sandwiches? Polled pork. Anyone who thinks a grass is really a tree... ... has been bamboozled. Fred was in a 80’s pop-goth band called The Prevention. They weren’t great, but were better than The Cure… Someone said that it’s impossible to make a pun about vegetables. I said that’s not nececelery true. I don’t carrot all what some people say, a good vegetable pun can’t be beet. I told my wife I'm addicted to dad jokes She said,
Fred asked the surgeon: "Can I administer my own anaesthetic?" "Sure", he said. "Knock yourself out." How are AI models similar to atoms? They make up stuff. A vampire, a zombie and a ghost started a band. It's called The Grateful Undead. Fred opened a company selling trampolines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof. Colouring Fabrics... It's a dying art. A gynecologist in a bad mood? Crotchety. If you suck at playing the trumpet.... .....then that's probably why. Fred the chef keeps adding stock to the soup His staff are taking bets on how large the yield will be. The pot keeps getting bigger. Sunbathing is no longer an Olympic sport. Everyone just kept getting bronze. Fred passed the exam for becoming a pest exterminator. He's got lice, ants, to kill.
wtf?
https://twitter.com/fl360aero/status/1788885606157750754?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1788885606157750754%7Ctwgr%5Ea8f645834e8090ab3d47f6dd77d56900e82d2486%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fnationalpost.com%2Fnews%2Fwoman-in-overhead-bin-on-southwest-flight
Frede is moving to Seoul for a new job. I think it’s a great Korea move. Fred once told me, “You can’t go around saving everyone. They have to learn to save themselves.” Great friend. Terrible lifeguard. Where do you bury identical twins? In a symmetry. Fred missed hisreservation at the Ukrainian restaurant because he was distracted studying French philosophy. He should never have put Descartes before the borscht. I've been struggling with amnesia. For as long as I can remember. I accidentally dropped my pillow on the floor. I think it has a concushion.
Fred's favourite Mexican restaurant just closed He's too upset to taco bout it. I watched a riveting film about the nervous system. It was axon packed. Rene Descartes last words? I think not. Fred's wife has looks that kill, and she cooks the same way. More people die from quicksand than shark attacks. Let that sink in. A metal band that's obsessed with typography? Itallica. C asual bowlers tend to be understanding people. They're always putting themselves in other people's shoes. Does it matter if you row a boat from the right or the left side? No, either oar is fine. Two carpenters were competing to see who could build the fastest staircase... It became an all out stairing contest. I overheard my neighbor call someone a nosy neighbor and now I'm determined to know who it is. The mute community has been pretty quiet recently. Fred tried watching a beaver documentary but the stream kept s
must read...
Rahim Mohamed: Son of Hamas warns of 'disaster for mankind' if terrorist group isn't destroyed Mosab Hassan Yousef says Israel must finish the job in Rafah Author of the article: Rahim Mohamed Published May 08, 2024 • Last updated 3 hours ago • 4 minute read 97 Comments Mosab Hassan Yousef speaks in Vancouver on Thursday, May 2, 2024. Screenshot Article content Just as Hamas headbands and flags are becoming the hottest must-have accessories on campus this spring, one man with an intimate view of the rot at the core of the terrorist organization is taking his own message of peace to the brainwashed masses. Mosab Hassan Yousef, the estranged eldest son of Hamas co-founder Sheikh Hassan Yousef, was in Vancouver on Thursday to speak at a community event organized by the Jewish Federation of Greater Vancouver. (Disclosure: I gave introductory remarks at the same event and later took part in a panel discussion with Yousef and moderator Niels Veldhuis, president of the Fra
