Fred the arsonist was well liked at parties.
He could really light up a room.

 

A nervous baker used an electric mixer to beat the eggs.
He didn’t want to whisk doing a poor job.

 

Turns out the coats I bought for my family are not waterproof.
Poor us.

 

I fainted in the curry house when I heard that REM had split up.
That’s me in the korma.

 

Trying to lose a game of rock, paper, scissors is just as hard as winning it.

 

The formula for success is too much like the formula for a nervous breakdown.


Fred launched a new mobile app  but it failed miserably…
It was a disAPPointment.

 

An avid collector is thinking of putting all his John Lennon memorabilia on eBay.
Imagine all the PayPal.

 

I didn’t know my father was once a mime.
He never spoke of it.

 

I was driving down route 417 and some guy honked at me and yelled that my car sucked.
It was highway snobbery.

 

Boeing has been in the news alot lately...
I guess it's the only way they can get actual air time.

 

If you wear a suit jacket on a hike is it a trail blazer?



 

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