crotchety ruv

 

  Fred keeps buying shirts with bats on them. He is bat shirt crazy . I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside. I am reading Yo-Yo Ma's autobiography. It really has its ups and downs. Fred's church serves noodles for communion. They're the Ramen Catholic.

 

 

  Fred is writing a book about a really unusual graveyard. It has a weird plot. A stripper's favourite automotive brand? Polestar. Fred's wife found out he was cheating when she found a bunch of hidden letters. Now she refuses to play Scrabble at all. Fred's wife flew into a rage because he kept making Monty Python references He said "will this be a 5 minute argument or the full half hour?"

 

 

  Morticians and  electricians have one thing in common. They're both shocked when they touch a live one . It feels amazing to walk in a store and buy whatever you please.. Thank you dollar store! Not sure if a colonoscopy is the most painful medical procedure but it's right up there. Its bad luck to be superstitious.

  Some things are better left unsaid. I usually remember this right after I say them. Fred only watches videos about dwarves, gnomes and goblins. He's addicted to short-form content. If you want a job in the hand lotion industry, the best advice Is to apply daily. An Irish grandmother with heart issues? Angie O’Gram.