crotchety ruv

  A widowed chiropractor proposed to Fred’s spinster sister.  She turned him down - she thought there would be too many adjustments. The furniture store refused to paint Fred’s wooden table the way he wanted. Fortunately, he was able to get a restaining order. The White House has ordered that “Artificial Intelligence” be renamed “Super Intelligence.” Officials are now debating whether kettles should be reclassified as steam engines. Fred’s old car finally gave out for the last time. May it rust in peace...

 

  Are  people born with a photographic memory? Or does it take time to develop? Please do not accept a friend request from my parents. They have been hacked.  -Lizzie Borden Fred asked a car dealership what his car was worth. They asked if the fuel tank was full or empty. Try being minimalist, it's the least you can do.

 

 

  A social media app for older single women: Spinstergram. Fred’s wife  said she's leaving him because of his obsession with CB Radios. He thinks it's over, over. There's a nudist convention in town this weekend, I might go if I've got nothing on. Compasses are easy to use become they come with directions.

 

 

  Fred is writing  a magical fairy-tale about lawsuits. It starts… “One subpoena time, in a land far far away…” Fred  saw a video on YouTube last night about a guy who made a timepiece for your wrist out of granite. It was a hard watch. Bee it ever so bumble… …there is no place like comb. The best way to embarrass a psychic? Throw them a surprise party