crotchety ruv

 

  The inventors of the brochure have sadly passed away. RIP Pam Flett and her husband, Lee. Microsoft just entered the domestic appliance market with a new vacuum cleaner. It's the first thing they've done in quite some time that didn't suck. If you know any good fish puns...please let minnow. Someone gave Fred fake vomit for his birthday. It was a gag gift.

 

 

  If everything smells like cheese to you, you might have... ...Emmental illness. Say what you will about tall people,  but I've always looked up to them. Fred is really good at making denim clothing He's a jeanius. Before counting was invented, every joke could be a one-liner.

 

  A widowed chiropractor proposed to Fred’s spinster sister.  She turned him down - she thought there would be too many adjustments. The furniture store refused to paint Fred’s wooden table the way he wanted. Fortunately, he was able to get a restaining order. The White House has ordered that “Artificial Intelligence” be renamed “Super Intelligence.” Officials are now debating whether kettles should be reclassified as steam engines. Fred’s old car finally gave out for the last time. May it rust in peace...

 

  Are  people born with a photographic memory? Or does it take time to develop? Please do not accept a friend request from my parents. They have been hacked.  -Lizzie Borden Fred asked a car dealership what his car was worth. They asked if the fuel tank was full or empty. Try being minimalist, it's the least you can do.