crotchety ruv

 

 

  The zipper on Fred's jeans broke today... But he managed to fix it on the fly. Due to changes in the social acceptability of international relations terminology, countries that were once European colonies are no longer referred to as "Independent". They are now referred to as Eurodivergent. Fred was trying to find impostor in the dictionary. It was next to impossible. Authorities shut down a lab that was splicing human and lettuce DNA... Once on the scene they found human romaines.

 

 

  The best thing about the Mercury Theatre? It has a Grand Marquee. I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing. My doctor said I should cut down on sodium. At first I thought Na I'm not doing that, but now I take her advice with a grain of salt. Fred has been in a coma for the last 5 years. He's been living the dream.

 

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  The reason why cats just seem to know how to use a litter box? It's in-stink. Fred's girlfriend dumped him because he was too obsessed with football. He says that they were together for five seasons. I'll tell you what I know about dwarfism... ... very little. If you plan to visit the Horn of Africa, I suggest you practice your dancing ahead of time. You might need to shake Djibouti.