crotchety ruv

 

  After massive public outcry from users believing Alexa was listening on everything, Amazon has announced it will be releasing a male version, as it won't be listening to anything at all. Sesame Street’s vampire has wandered away again. He’s done it so many times, they’ve lost Count. When Fred was younger he wanted to be a chiropractor. But then he found out it was back breaking work. Fred is  only attracted to cookware, does that make him a pansexual or a pothead?

 

 

 

  When beating eggs, I like to figure out for how long by myself. It's a calculated whisk. Did you hear about the model railway enthusiast couple? They recently got N-gauged! Our server at brunch asked if we had any questions. I said, “Yeah, how’s the French quiche?” He said, “Traditionally with eyes closed and a lot of tongue.” Fred has an irrational fear of Vietnamese food. His pho-bia.