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A Malaysian primate born between 1945-1964? Boomerangatan. What are you if you have custard and jelly in one ear and cake and cream in the other? A trifle deaf. The police are investigating an abandoned car with an incomplete set of golf clubs inside. They're still looking for the driver. Fred really loves singing so he joined a club, but at the first meeting everyone was talking about clarified butter. He had accidentally joined the Ghee club
I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance. I'm at that age where my mind still thinks I'm 29, my humor suggests I'm 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I'm sure I'm not dead yet. You don't realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up. If you can't think of a word, say "I forgot the English word for it." That way people will think you're bilingual instead of an idiot
I never sent a pun about guns... But I'll give it a shot. The escargot race went down to the wire. It was a snail-biter. Fred was planning on getting the mower out, but his wife was in a good mood. So he told her to put on the lawngerie. Vegan: The chicken you're eating had a family. Me: That's why I ordered the family bucket, no-one gets left behind.