crotchety ruv

 

  We all know mirrors don't lie… And in a moment of self reflection, I realized that I'm grateful that they don't laugh. Fred made a list of all his favorite NFL players turned criminals. It’s got its pros and cons. When Fred discovered he was holding his new taser the wrong way, he was stunned. I used to think Chewbacca was an Ewok. Wookie mistake.

 

 

  Fred's neighbor has had a plumbing problem in his backyard for a while now that causes a slow, constant leak into Fred's garden. Fred says it's not that big of a deal but does find it irrigating. The aging actor who paid his home off? Mortgage Freeman, Fred caught a really bad cold while visiting Antwerp. He says he is now phelgmish. Someone called me a peasant. It was a feudal attempt to insult me.

 

 

  A friend was telling me about the time when she used to have implants. They're just a distant mammary now. When it comes to roof inspections, I only understand the basics. Most of it is over my head. I can never remember knock-knock jokes. They don't ring a bell. How high do you need to be to jump with a parachute? Three days of drinking should do it.