crotchety ruv

 

  What do you call getting coerced into doing something by a Frenchman? Pierre pressure. Fred tried to write a joke about double entendres… But he couldn’t quite put it to bed. Fred has a new job - trying to find the smallest species of Ursus. To be honest he does the bear minimum. Fred couldn't get cell phone reception while visiting the cemetery. It was a dead zone.

 

  The Vatican is releasing an online payment system to absolve you of your sins. They're calling it PaPal. Fred went to a psychic the other day who was severely depressed. Turns out, there was no happy medium . A microbiologist dropped a Petri dish. It resulted in severe culture shock. I thought I'd been stung by a wasp while eating sushi, but it turned out it wasabi.

 

 

 

  Fred turned vegan last month. Says it was the biggest miss-steak of his life. Fred dumped some Adderall into his Ford Fiesta’s gas tank.. Now it’s a Ford Focus. Fred prefers entertainment to be legitimate. All above bored. What do you call a mafia boss' successor? Don of a new era