crotchety ruv

  A nurse walks into a bank to deposit her pay check. She reaches into her purse to pull out a pen to sign her check. To her dismay, she pulls out a rectal thermometer. In frustration, she throws her arms up and shouts, "Oh, great! Some asshole has my pen! from doug...

  Happy medium: a psychic who loves their job. Fred called it curtains on his set designer career. He left without making a scene. Everybody laughs when they hear the name Uranus mentioned in the planet line up. However, Saturn has a nicer ring to it. Where do people who like to correct others get their water from? A well, actually.

 

 

  The Spice Girls are making a comeback… Makes scents that it’s being sponsored by Old Spice.   Fred opened up a cheese shop featuring Middle Eastern cheeses. It’s called, “Cheeses of Nazareth.“ This morning I had no trouble rolling out of bed. It did, however, take great effort to get off the floor. I get up at 3 or 4 every night to use the bathroom. That’s why they’re called the wee hours of the morning.

 

 

  It's hard to trust law-abiding citizens. They lack convictions. There was  a report on TV about someone stealing stamps and envelopes. They said the suspect is believed to be mail. Have you lost weight recently? Because it looks like you found it again. What doesn't kill you makes you suffer.