crotchety ruv

 

  Fred tried glass blowing but mistakely sucked in rather than blowing out. He got a pane in his stomach. A pallet of paprika and a pallet of oregano were stolen from a warehouse.   Investigators believe this was the work of seasoned criminals. Fred's girlfriend dumped him for such "shortcomings" in his male "equipment". He said it's OK - he was never really that into her. Last night the history channel showed a documentary on the origin of U-Haul. Viewers that watched it said it was simply moving.

 

 

  To save money on fuel Fred took the mirrors off of his car to reduce drag. He hasn't looked back since. Fred's house is a stone's throw away from the bus stop. It's the one with broken windows. Fred is researching flesh-eating bacteria. He’s been completely bitten by the bug. The bar for making good jokes has been lowered so much... 3 guys just walked into it.

 

 

  Fred's tailor was taken to jail in cuffs. Because of his criminal ties - he really got stitched up. The hot beverage that improves your balance? Stabili-tea. Dermatologists often have no-show appointments. Their patients are often flaky. Lost stuff is always found in the last place you look. After you find it, you stop looking.