crotchety ruv

from vince...  

  Fred is a bit concerned that he hasn't heard a word from his audiologist. Fred's girlfriend accidentally poked him in the eyes. He stopped seeing her for a while. Fred once dated a girl with a wooden leg. It was going well for a while, but eventually he broke it off. I joined a Carpenter's class the other day but haven't made anything yet. We've only just begun.

 

 

  When Fred's yoga teacher quit unexpectedly... It left him in a very difficult position. Fred offered his elderly neighbor $20 to give him a ride on her stairlift. He thinks she’s gonna take him on it. Fred has given up on gardening. He just threw in the trowel. Loom-inary: a master of weaving yarn or thread into cloth. Fred constantly brags about how his bbq seasoning is the best. He really likes to rub it in. Fred refuses to go to funerals. He's just not a mourning person. Old people's feet are often in rough shape. Because time wounds all heels. Fred started a band called "The Hinges". They opened for everyone.

  Whenever I see a warning label on peanut butter saying it may contain peanuts, I understand why aliens don't visit us anymore. Fred got a robotic lawnmower. Now heI only handles edge cases. Fred is a flat earther. Though he prefers I use the term bulldozer operator. Fred imagined a machine which could lessen sudden high-velocity incidents of wind.  He never pursued it, though, because he found the whole idea disgusting.

 

 

  My GPS app never apologizes if it errs. It has a bad latitude. What did the American, British, and Scottish person talk about? None of them know. Strange that the gene for male-pattern baldness is passed through the mom. It’s all about ‘hair’-itability. What do ATMs and addicts have in common? Both experience withdrawals.