crotchety ruv

 

  Fred was a teacher who either would teach, or he would not. He was full of taughtologies. Fred saw his favourite band at a concert that was so loud that it hurt to stay. A true life or deaf situation. T wizzlers came out with a new spirit that’s just under 30% alcohol so technically it’s not liquor, just liquor-ish. A local museum is offering discounted tickets to their exhibition of small feathered dinosaurs. It’s an early bird special.

 

 

  Fred ordered a deck of cards from Amazon, but it hasn’t arrived yet. Customer service told him they are dealing with it. Best friends don't ask why you need a concrete block and heavy-duty rope. They just ask if the lake is deep enough. I saw a film that was G, PG-13, and R all at once. That movie was so overrated. Fred saw a woman at the grocery scratching all the soap bars. Said she was tickling the Ivories.

 

 

  Plague-rism: The medical term for a disease that mimics the symptoms of the black death. Weterinarian: An animal doctor who specializes in fish. Fred bought one of those ‘smart light switches’ but it was much too clever. So he replaced it with a dimmer switch. Fred lost my job because of illness and fatigue. His boss was sick and tired of him.