crotchety ruv

 

  Fred's kids think he complains too much when he gets off the couch… They say he's  a groan man. I’m not gonna prepare your fishing line for free but I will offer you a rebait. Fred tried to get a refund on an incomplete monopoly set. No dice, but at least he took a chance. Fred showed me a photo of himself at an R.E.M. concert. He said, “That’s me in the corner.”

 

 

  Fred was so sick of the preacher haranguing him from the podium that Fred took his lectern. It was time to take a stand. Why did Darth Vader wear black robes like a nun? Force of habit. Fred forgot to hire an editor for his brain-teaser book… It was riddled with errors. To everyone who said Fred would never become a journalist: He's got news for you.

 

 

  If you get the opportunity to become a Gregorian monk... ...take the chants seriously. William Shatner's new line of womens' lingerie has been tanking in sales. There were probably better names than Shatner Panties. Fred's job as a customs officer is really affecting his health. All those seizures. There is a promising new treatment for Lycanthropy In clinical trials, it has had a de-monsterable effect.