crotchety ruv

 

  Fred has a contact lens problem.  He has no contact solution.. . Fred worked briefly as an underwear model. I don’t rise and shine, I caffeinate and hope for the best. I started a diet, but my fridge keeps staging interventions.

  Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking: "What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?" Tom says: "I would switch one train to another track." "What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector. "Then I'd run down to the tracks and use the manual lever down there," answers Tom. "What if that had been struck by lightning?" challenges the inspector. "Then," Tom continued, "I'd run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box." "What if the phone was busy?" "In that case," Tom argued, "I'd run to the street level and use the public phone near the station." "What if that had been vandalized?" "Oh well," said Tom, "in that case I would run into town and get my Un...

 

 

  Fred got a good deal on some scrap metal. It was a steel. Fredhasn’t been allowed back on a cruise ship. Ever since that whole ‘poop deck’ misunderstanding. Fred was bored so he swapped a few chocolate bars into different wrappers. His wife wasn't amused... She got her snickers in a twix. When a new dock is constructed, it’s required to undergo a rigorous inspection. It’s part of the pier review process.

from gilles...  

 

  A short person who enjoys good food? Gastrognome. Are bear claw pastries made from scratch? Neil DIamond has listed his vintage corvette on ebay. It's a sweet car online. Fred tried origami for a while, but stopped. It was too much paperwork.