crotchety ruv

 

  A cat that can’t use a litter box? illitterate. Fred often goes to a bar named arthritis. The bartender pours a mighty stiff drink. Every time Fred rides a bike he falls off, it’s a painful cycle.

 

 

  The best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream. Fred claims that he scaled Mount Everest, but not many believe him. I think… he made it up. Fred heard that 90% of Vegans suffer from constipation. Apparently, what happens in Vegans, stays in Vegans.

 

 

  After massive public outcry from users believing Alexa was listening on everything, Amazon has announced it will be releasing a male version, as it won't be listening to anything at all. Sesame Street’s vampire has wandered away again. He’s done it so many times, they’ve lost Count. When Fred was younger he wanted to be a chiropractor. But then he found out it was back breaking work. Fred is  only attracted to cookware, does that make him a pansexual or a pothead?