crotchety ruv

 

  Fred turned vegan last month. Says it was the biggest miss-steak of his life. Fred dumped some Adderall into his Ford Fiesta’s gas tank.. Now it’s a Ford Focus. Fred prefers entertainment to be legitimate. All above bored. What do you call a mafia boss' successor? Don of a new era

 

 

  After years of being an addict, Fred checked himself into Waltzers anonymous. It's a three step program. It's hard to play poker with an origami expert. They always fold. You don't have to be faster than the bear. You just have to be faster than anyone else on the hike. Fred's wife insisted that they didn't need to spend money to hire someone to help her through her pregnancy, but now she is having a midwife crisis.

 

 

  Fred changes the wheels on cars for a living. It's tiresome work. Fred bought a lambswool sweater online, but it was a fake. He got fleeced. He feels very sheepish now. Fred is having a problem remembering how to fix his digestive  problems. He thinks it has to do with his medicine called milk of amnesia. Someone born in '33 was 45 in '78. That's got to be a record.