crotchety ruv

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  Fred was attacked by a flock of sheep. Luckily, he was only grazed. Fred said his favorite Star Wars quote was, "Aargh Luke, ye scurvy dog, I be yer father." I think he got a pirated copy. Ziplock started making underwear. Fred tried a pair but found they were just a little baggy. Last night Fred dreamt hat he was a jack-in-the-box. Woke up cranky.

 

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  Fred's razor blade company doesn’t make as much money as he had hoped. Even so, He's been able to scrape by. Patient: “Doctor, it’s like my brain has been battered and deep-fried.” Doctor: “How does that make you feel?” Patient: “Pretty tempura-mental.” Fred went to an alarm clock symphony. They kept pushing the start back 10 minutes at a time. Total "snooze" fest. Fred applied for a job preparing sandwiches. But unfortunately the Roll had been filled.

 

 

  Fred's wife was surprised to learn that his blood runs orange instead of red. She didn’t realize he had carroted arteries. If you want to be a good photographer… You have to stay focussed. I suffered a brain injury that means I’m unable to express negative thoughts effectively, but otherwise things are pretty good. I can’t complain. When Fred first met his wife, they loved talking with each other about plants. That’s how he knew they’d have a fuchsia together.