hilarious....
Posts
One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the Pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week! The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected And saw an elderly woman put the distinctive pink envelope on the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her. "Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week In the collection plate," he stated. "Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money And I give some of it to the church." The pastor replied, "That's wonderful. But $1000 is a lot, are you sure you can afford this? How much does he send you?" The elderly woman answered, "$10,000 a week." The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful; what does he do for a living?" "He is a veterinarian," she answered.. "That's an honorable pr...
Stairways have a strong sense of anticipation. They lead up to something. When Fred's kids argue, it gets so loud that he's worried he’ll lose his hearing. Why does it always have to be a fight to the deaf? I saw a man standing on one leg in front of the ATM.. It looked like he was checking his balance. Comedians make terrible terrorists. They frequently bomb but never kill at the same time.
When you forget to set a timer but the pasta still comes out perfect? An acc-aldente. Fred's struggling ship building business has quality control issues. It's barely staying afloat. Fred was so broke one time that he actually pick pocketed a midget. . . Who knew he could stoop so low. He only got small change. Fred got a job in a thermometer factory. Unfortunately, it's just temp work.
Fred invented a container which plays cool jazz music when pouring out the contents. It’s a hip flask. Ferd started going to cocktail bars and just asking for "Whatever you recommend." Results are mixed. A soldier who hasn’t been properly briefed? Commando Freda has been engaged over 5 times but never married. That's a lot of near Mrs.