crotchety ruv

 

  Whenever Fred's wife gets anxious she files her fingernails. She says it really helps to take the edge off. The annual Estee Lauder company softball game was called off due to rain. A make up game is in the works. Scientists are attempting to produce antibiotics and other helpful drugs in the ocean. They’re calling it a farm asea. Scurvy. When life doesn’t give you lemons…

 

 

  Fred asked a physicist friend if he often had his head in the clouds. He said "No, gravity keeps me down." Someone broke into Fred's house, stole a dozen eggs,and left a pan of boiling water on the stove. Police believe it was poachers. When Fred gets insecure around pretty women, he reaches into his pocket and grabs a tiny rock… It makes him feel a little boulder. Buy-sexual: A person who only goes on dates with prostitutes.

 

 

  Fred bought some chainsaw-resistant clothes yesterday. They were almost $200 for the set, but at least they didn't cost an arm and a leg. Fred is okay with smoking, alcohol, and marijuana, but cocaine is where he draws the line. Unlike this month, next month May not be. Fred just came to the realization that He's developed a fetish for figuring things out.