crotchety ruv

 

  Fred met his wife at a Scrabble tournament 20 years ago. Next week they are going to renew their vowels. A Scottish shepherd got arrested for getting too friendly with one of his sheep. He escaped custody, and now he's back on the lam. What is the name of the pensioner who just scored 3 goals? Gerry hat-trick. Fred watched a documentary on beavers. Says it’s the best dam show he has ever seen.

 

 

  Fred and his wife still have chemistry. Unfortunately, at their age, most of it involves antacids and prescription medications. If you’re considering coloring someone’s hair as a career choice… It’s a dyeing industry, although your job will have some highlights. What Fred misses most about the good old days, is that it used to be that everything was the way it used to be. It's a good thing that sexual innuendo isn't a crime otherwise I'd definitely be going down.

 

 

  Times are hard: A book publisher went into Chapter 11. A clock company wound down. A window manufacturer was shuttered. An earthquake forecaster fell into default. A butcher shop couldn't make ends meat. A clock maker said his time had come. A bathtub store had to pull the plug.