crotchety ruv

 

  Elvis Costello and ABBA are touring together this summer, but they can’t decide who’s headlining. I’m anxiously following all the news on ABBA and Costello... to see who’s on first. Fred has an artificial limb that predicts the future. It's a prophetic leg. Fred told his therapist that he dreams that he is either a yurt or a teepee. Therapist said, relax, you are too tents. Fred doesn't always mean to skip breakfast but he just can't help it, he is a cereal procrastinator.

 

 

 

  Carpenters who build staircases are good planners. They're always thinking one step ahead. Fred is a SCUBA diver who always takes an extra tank with him. He airs on the side of caution. Inscribed on a dentist's tombstone: I am filling my last cavity, The best pants to wear to go ghost hunting? A paranormal jeans.

 

 

  Fred used to work as a carpenter for a living... But then he  had to quit because he got completely board. Dwarfism isn’t funny. It’s a growing problem. Mistakes are part of the journey... At least when you're not a surgeon. Apparently mime-on-mime violence is a growing concern.. We just never hear about it.