he's lost it.....gotta see

 

Neil Diamond actually started out being called Neil Coal.
But he changed his name when the pressure got to him.

 

Sally quit her seaside seashell business and bought a Batteries Plus franchise.
Now she sells C-cells by the seashore.

 

Tom Petty explained the most difficult job at a restaurant.
The waiting is the hardest part.

 

Pirates are considered indigenous people in Canada.
It’s because they arrrr métis. For Riel.

 

While digging for gold, a prospector got a splinter in his hand.
It was just a miner inconvenience.

 

The spinner on my board game broke.
That’s when things got a little dicey.

 

Why do some many people have a problem with Scott Fitzgerald?
I hear people say “F…. Scott Fitzgerald” all the time.

 

Fred has been accepted into barber school.
Looks like he made the cut.

 

A superhero with no sense of direction?
Wander Woman.

 

A girl who's always bumping into things?
Jocelyn.

 

Have you ever considered that each time you clean something, you make something else dirty?

 

In agriculture school, I learned about the grain weevil, and the long-horn weevil. Despite the grain weevil being more destructive, it was actually preferable because of it's smaller size ... making it the lesser of two weevils.