Neil Diamond actually started out being called Neil Coal.
But he changed his name when the pressure got to him.

 

Sally quit her seaside seashell business and bought a Batteries Plus franchise.
Now she sells C-cells by the seashore.

 

Tom Petty explained the most difficult job at a restaurant.
The waiting is the hardest part.

 

Pirates are considered indigenous people in Canada.
It’s because they arrrr métis. For Riel.

 

While digging for gold, a prospector got a splinter in his hand.
It was just a miner inconvenience.

 

The spinner on my board game broke.
That’s when things got a little dicey.

 

Why do some many people have a problem with Scott Fitzgerald?
I hear people say “F…. Scott Fitzgerald” all the time.

 

Fred has been accepted into barber school.
Looks like he made the cut.

 

A superhero with no sense of direction?
Wander Woman.

 

A girl who's always bumping into things?
Jocelyn.

 

Have you ever considered that each time you clean something, you make something else dirty?

 

In agriculture school, I learned about the grain weevil, and the long-horn weevil. Despite the grain weevil being more destructive, it was actually preferable because of it's smaller size ... making it the lesser of two weevils.



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