crotchety ruv

 

 

from vince   Fred keeps having this terrifying dream that he’s stuck on ice and people keep throwing stones at him. It’s a recurling nightmare. According to a poll that was recently conducted. The lightning rod works. Einstein developed a theory about space. People said it was about time too.

 

 

  Fred's younger female sibling is ALL ABOUT rainwater collection reservoirs He's so proud of his little cistern. According to Tom Petty, fly fishing has many challenges, but the wading is the hardest part. Fred's son was in bad shape after his girlfriend dumped him, so Fred bought him a Playstation and an Xbox. That really helped console him. Fred doesn't win Marathons because he's lucky. He win because he's driven

 

 

  Now that an executive order has been signed to make Lake Ontario Lake America… Does that make Canada Geese Donald Ducks? Fred makes a hobby of photographing salmon in different outfits. He says it’s as easy as shooting fish in apparel. Fred has written a song about a locksmith. There’s a lovely key change at the end. Fred thought getting into the bubble wrap industry would make him a rich man. Instead, he ended up a pauper.

 

 

  Sparkling water is not still. But it is still water. Doctors like to tap patient's knees with a little rubber hammer. They get a kick out of it. There is a 14yr old urologist at the local hospital. He is a whiz kid. Do fleas move from host to host by itch hiking?

 

 

  When do cowboys become cow men? After their barn mitzvah. The dog that solves underwater mysteries? Scuba Doo. Here is a Medieval pun whether you like it or not. Resistance is feudal. Life is too short to learn from your own mistakes, so I learn from the mistakes of those who have taken my advice.

Tariffs are going to make toilet paper more expensive for americans, as a bunch (excuse the pun) is imported from Canada.  Here's an interesting stat:  the US accounts for more than 20% of global tissue consumption despite having only 4% of the world’s population. The average American  uses 141 rolls  of toilet paper per year, making them No 1 for No 2s globally.  This is proof they're the biggest assholes.  

 

  Most of the knights during the middle ages were only moderately terrible. They were mid-evil. A lumberjack was having a hard time at school. Anytime he saw his homework he was stumped, just couldn't hack it. Fred is opening a funeral parlor for people of no specific faith. He's calling it Die Agnostic Services. Fred and his wife used to deal marijuana. The money they made went into their joint account.