very true...

 Fred met his wife at a Scrabble tournament 20 years ago.

Next week they are going to renew their vowels.

A Scottish shepherd got arrested for getting too friendly with one of his sheep.
He escaped custody, and now he's back on the lam.

What is the name of the pensioner who just scored 3 goals?
Gerry hat-trick.

Fred watched a documentary on beavers.
Says it’s the best dam show he has ever seen.