very true...

 When beating eggs, I like to figure out for how long by myself.

It's a calculated whisk.

Did you hear about the model railway enthusiast couple?
They recently got N-gauged!

Our server at brunch asked if we had any questions. I said, “Yeah, how’s the French quiche?”
He said, “Traditionally with eyes closed and a lot of tongue.”

Fred has an irrational fear of Vietnamese food.
His pho-bia.