he's lost it.....gotta see

 Elvis Costello and ABBA are touring together this summer, but they can’t decide who’s headlining. I’m anxiously following all the news on ABBA and Costello... to see who’s on first.

Fred has an artificial limb that predicts the future.
It's a prophetic leg.

Fred told his therapist that he dreams that he is either a yurt or a teepee.

Therapist said, relax, you are too tents.

Fred doesn't always mean to skip breakfast but he just can't help it, he is a cereal procrastinator.