he's lost it.....gotta see

 Fred told me he performed as a ventriloquist to put himself through school to become a proctologist.

I think he is talking out of his ass.

Fred's wife gave birth on their stairs.

He now has a step son.

Leather is rated based on its texture. Cows with abundant water sources have softer hides, rated A. But hides from cows living in hot, dry climates are D hide rated.

Fred can’t believe there’s a unit of measure that has six foot increments.

He just can’t fathom it.

Fred wants to be a skydiving instructor.
That’s a descent career.