real good ones today..

 Fred is  not a dad, but still tells dad jokes.

Does that make him a faux pa? Or just a groan man?

I was comparing my bucket list with that of a friend's.
Turns out mine pails by comparison.

Don’t pour cereal in the sink.
Because it Kellogg’s up the drain.

I hate when people leave their sprinklers on too long.
It’s really irrigating.