Bilbo was surprised to hear of a duty free store opening up in the Shire...
It was an unexpected item in the Baggins area

 

What's the difference between a British SUV and a Libertarian?
One's a Land Rover and the other's a Rand Lover

 

The martial artist got lost walking in the city.
He was kung-fused.

 

Do aircraft pilots speak plane english?

 

The best joke on mankind is that computers ask humans to prove they are not robots.

 

I used to go to a child psychologist. That kid did nothing for me.

 

People are always calling Fred "slurs", which is an appropriate nickname for a guy who uses so many of them.

 

What did cupid play before the harp was invented?
The heart strings

 

If a painting of the birth of Jesus is a nativity scene . . .
then isn't a picture of the birth of the antichrist a negativity scene?