When Fred's wife saw her first strands of gray hair came in she thought she'd dye.

 

Father Christmas in an orange suit?
Fanta Claus.

 

In 1976, they were saying that Fleetwood Mac was gonna break up.
Turned out to be a bunch of nasty Rumours

 

A horse’s favorite Steely Dan song?
Hay 19

 

There was a revolution at the poultry farm.
It was a chicken coup.

 

Fred started writing a book about apathy once …
He couldn’t be bothered finishing it

 

I lost my job as a pole vaulter. I'll never get over it.

 

Fulldeckisms:

 Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it
 Hasn't caught on that X and Y are relative values
 Hasn't got all his china in the cupboard
 Hasn't got the brains God gave a cat
 Having a party in his head, but no one else is invited
 He demonstrates that beauty times brains is a constant
 He donated his brain to science but they made an early withdrawal
 He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down
 He's not fit for contact with humans
 He writes blank checks on a closed account
 He's a man on a mission, but can't find his dossier
 He's not stupid; he's possessed by a retarded ghost
 He's really into himself

 His head is up his ass
 He's so dense, light bends around him