crotchety ruv

 Mrs. Murphy and Mrs. Cohen   Mrs. Murphy and Mrs. Cohen had been long-time close friends. But, being old-fashioned, each went to a retirement home of her own respective religion.   It was not long before Mrs. Murphy felt lonesome for Mrs. Cohen, so one day she asked to be driven to the Jewish Home to visit her old friend.   When she arrived she was greeted with open arms, hugs, and kisses.   Mrs. Murphy said, "Don't be holdin' back, Mrs. Cohen, how do you like it here?"   Mrs. Cohen went on and on about the wonderful food, the facility and the caretakers. Then, with a twinkle in her eye, she said, "But the best thing is that I now have a boyfriend."   Mrs. Murphy said, "Now isn't that wonderful! Tell me all about it." Mrs. Cohen said, "After lunch, we go up to my room and sit on the edge of the bed. I let him touch me on the top, and then on the bottom, and then we sing Jewish songs."   Mrs. Murphy said, ...

Wanted: Landlord. Must own a hotel . Apply with inn   Only one confirmed butterpox case But there is still concern over its spread   Many people like saying that they raise their biological children but Fred is proud to say that his are adopted He doesn't even miss them.   Which of King Arthur’s knights was the heaviest drinker? Sir Osis   After 30 years of marriage to Florence, Fred the plumber left his wife. The note on the table simply read, "It's Over Flo."   Proctologists are always the butt of doctor jokes.   All of my friends have such expansive bucket lists but mine is just a little pail in comparison.  

 

 

 

 

  What do epic cows make? Legend-dairy.   Cut-and-cover is the only interesting way to build a tunnel The other way is boring.   Which NBA player is also a mathematician? Lagrange James   I gave up my job as a scuba diving instructor the first day of work. Deep down, I realized it wasn’t for me.   I just witnessed a chicken gracefully crossing the road. It was poultry in motion at its finest.   Someone with a lot of street knowledge? Roads scholar   I think I was a noodle in a pasta life