he's lost it.....gotta see

 Fred the bartender got caught stealing from work.

He was charged with em-booze-elment.

Where did Harry Potter go to watch mixed martial arts?
Octagon Alley,

News item from Rome: body found boiling in large pot of lightly salted water.
It's believed the body is that of Italian religious leader, Pastor Alfredo.
Police are working hard to al dente-fy the suspect.

Fred is a mechanic who often neglects to shower after work.

He usually wakes up oily in the morning.