he's lost it.....gotta see

 Fred took his enemy to a steakhouse.

He had beef with him.

Fred asked his wife what was wrong and she said she was feeling kinda blue.
He said, “So that’s why you’re cyan.”

When I was little, my mom used to feed me alphabet soup, claiming that I loved it.
I didn’t really. She was just putting words in my mouth.

Fred often leaves dirty dishes to soak overnight.
It helps him fill his daily quota of procrastination.