crotchety ruv

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LpMB1OZ53g  

 

 

 Do you know the app which appreciates and cheers you up? It's called Applaud   We had a King Wencelas pizza for our Christmas dinner... It was deep pan, crisp and even   I found a coin on the street the other day, and it had teeth marks all over it. It was a Bitcoin.   Major airlines are cancelling flights as staff call in sick. If I was in charge, none of their excuses would fly.   When Santa's GPS stops working he becomes a lost Claus   Today I found out that Albert Einstein was a real person. And I thought he was a theoretical physicist   "Dead or alive, you're coming with me" is a great movie quote but a terrible pickup line.   I lost my job in pool maintenance. It was too draining.   fulldeckisms:  If it's not in his horoscope, he doesn't take it seriously  If sex appeal were dynamite, he couldn't blow the cobwebs off his balls  If she was any dumber, she'd be a green plant  If stupidity were a crime,

 

    1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.     2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.   3. Writing my name in cursive is my signature move.   4. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm.   5. If you're bad at haggling, you'll end up paying the price.   6. Just so everyone's clear, I'm going to put my glasses on.   7. A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.   8. I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.   9. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.   10. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.   11. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.   12. My friends and I have named our band 'Duvet'. It's a cover band.   13. I lost my girlfriend's audiobook, and now I'll never hear the end of it.   14. Why is 'dark' spelled with a k and no

 

https://m.facebook.com/groups/339522432793080/permalink/4781720451906567/  

https://www.msn.com/en-ca/lifestyle/travel/news/ontario-driver-charged-after-travelling-down-the-qew-without-a-tire-photos/ar-AASfGRb?li=AAggNb9  

https://www.motor1.com/news/557554/california-1950s-1960s-cars-restored-videos/  

 

   

 

 

A guy decides to buy his new girlfriend a pair of gloves for Christmas. They’ve only been dating for 3 weeks so it seemed like the ideal gift – romantic but not too personal.     He asks the girlfriend’s younger sister to accompany him to buy them so she could help him pick a pair her sister would like.     So they go to the mall and the sister points out a pair of white gloves which the guy buys. The sister then picks out a pair of panties for herself and buys them. But during the wrapping, the clerk mixes up the parcels without anyone realizing it so the sister gets the gloves and the guy takes home the gift box containing the panties.     Without checking the guy rushes to his girlfriend after he wrote this loving, helpful note to go with it.     It said, "To my dearest. I chose these because I noticed you’re not in the habit of wearing any when we go out nights. If it hadn’t been for your sister I would’ve got the long ones with the buttons but she wears the sh

think this applies more to pickup trucks and large suv's..... A novel that takes set mostly in a paper mill? Pulp Fiction   A hippo that can do magic? Harrypottermus   Just after the Boston Tea Party, the town had a temporary nickname. They called it The City That Never Steeps   Fred was asked if he preferred a) Mulled Wine, b) Mulled Cider, c)Mulled beer or d) Mulled Gin? It was a Mulled tipple choice question.   My body can't produce its own alcohol, so I have to drink a supplement.   Fred had a heart attack while driving his Caddy. It  was a Cadillac Escalade cardiac escapade.   Life without love is meaningless… Love without life is necrophilia   Fred's girlfriend said she would make him his favourite slow cooker meal, then she didn't. She was a real crock-tease.   I lost my job at the unemployment office. And I still need to go back there tomorrow.   fulldeckisms:  I'd like to buy him for what he's worth and sel

 

 

 

 

somewhere in edmonton.....  

The  European country best known for its thievery ? Bulgaria   Many people attempted to build the first airplane, but Orville and Wilbur were... the first to get it Wright.   Two wrongs don't make a right But three rights make a left   "The Keys" would have been a great band name. They could've opened for the Doors.   Fred's wife caught him standing on the bathroom scales, sucking in his stomach, she laughed, “Ha! That’s not going to help!” He replied, “Sure, it does. It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”   Fred is great at multitasking He can do nothing and still annoy his wife   Fred was going to play his  squeezebox for 24 hours straight, but it didn't go accordion to plan.   Reverse origami is my favorite sport I love watching the action unfold.   I lost my job as a sound technician. I couldn’t handle the feedback.   fulldeckisms:  Her ski lift doesn't go to the top of the hill  Her tires are a little low   Her wipers don't touch the gl

 

 

vince dug up this old ad......  

 

https://fb.watch/a8EKEc6RWb/

Sorry, Christmas is canceled. Santa is in the hospital He threw the wrong sack over his shoulder An egg that always misses it's appointments? An omelate   Fred is going to open a specialty furniture store that only sells pieces designed for putting your feet up. He's calling it The Ottoman Empire.   I’ll tell you what often gets over looked… …garden fences.   Two interesting facts about the actor Yul Brynner    He was a lifelong fan of Liverpool football club    He refused to ever wear aftershave That’s right; Yul never wore cologne   They say  no one ever found the Fountain of Youth but many actually have, but they were all youth-anized.   I knew a guy who hired a servant who was missing his left arm. Serves him right.   I just lost out on a raffle for a new RV Oh well. Sometimes you Winnebago sometimes you losebago.   I lost my job as a yoga instructor. I bent over backwards for them.   fulldeckisms:  He's so dense, the Titanic w

beware china..... Two men are trying to get in a quick eighteen holes, but there two women golfers in front of them who are taking quite a long time to play each hole.   The first guy says, “Why don’t you go over and ask if we can play through?” The second guy gets about halfway there, turns and comes back. The first guy says, “What’s wrong?”   He says, “One of them is my wife, and the other is my mistress.”   The first guy says, “That could be a problem. I’ll go over.” He gets about halfway there and he turns and comes back, too.   The second guy says, “What’s wrong?”   The first guy says, “Small world!”  

 

poor ad placement