think this applies more to pickup trucks and large suv's.....

A novel that takes set mostly in a paper mill?

Pulp Fiction

 

A hippo that can do magic?
Harrypottermus

 

Just after the Boston Tea Party, the town had a temporary nickname.
They called it The City That Never Steeps

 

Fred was asked if he preferred a) Mulled Wine, b) Mulled Cider, c)Mulled beer or d) Mulled Gin?
It was a Mulled tipple choice question.

 

My body can't produce its own alcohol, so I have to drink a supplement.

 

Fred had a heart attack while driving his Caddy.
It  was a Cadillac Escalade cardiac escapade.

 

Life without love is meaningless…
Love without life is necrophilia

 

Fred's girlfriend said she would make him his favourite slow cooker meal, then she didn't.

She was a real crock-tease.

 

I lost my job at the unemployment office. And I still need to go back there tomorrow.

 

fulldeckisms:

 I'd like to buy him for what he's worth and sell him for what he thinks he's worth
 If brains were bird droppings, he'd have a clean cage
 If brains were dynamite, she wouldn't have enough to blow her nose
 If brains were gasoline, he wouldn't have enough to drive a dinky car around the inside of a cheerio
 If brains were grains of sand, he couldn't fill a dixie cup
 If brains were lard, he'd be hard pressed to grease a small pan
 If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate
 If brains were water, hers wouldn't be enough to baptize a flea
 If God tried to help him, we'd have an eight day week
 If he donated his brain to science it'd set civilization back 50 years
 If he gets any denser, the geocentric theory of the universe will come true
 If he had a lobotomy he'd depressurize
 If he had another brain, it would be lonely
 If he had brains, he'd take them out and play with them
 If he had half a brain, his ass would be lopsided
 If he were any brighter he'd be in the visible spectrum
 If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week
 If her brains were put in a hummingbird, it would fly backwards
 If his brain were a hard drive, it would back up on a single floppy
 If his brains were money, he'd still be in debt
 If his IQ was two points higher he'd be a rock

 


 

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