great, hilarious one from gord....if you like politically incorrectness.....

The  European country best known for its thievery ?
Bulgaria

 

Many people attempted to build the first airplane, but Orville and Wilbur were...
the first to get it Wright.

 

Two wrongs don't make a right
But three rights make a left

 

"The Keys" would have been a great band name.
They could've opened for the Doors.

 

Fred's wife caught him standing on the bathroom scales, sucking in his stomach, she laughed, “Ha! That’s not going to help!”

He replied, “Sure, it does. It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”

 

Fred is great at multitasking
He can do nothing and still annoy his wife

 

Fred was going to play his  squeezebox for 24 hours straight, but it didn't go accordion to plan.

 

Reverse origami is my favorite sport
I love watching the action unfold.

 

I lost my job as a sound technician. I couldn’t handle the feedback.

 

fulldeckisms:

 Her ski lift doesn't go to the top of the hill
 Her tires are a little low
 Her wipers don't touch the glass
 Hid behind the door when they passed out brains
 He's lost in a fog
 His sig is long, boring, and stupid, but it's the best part of his postings
 His actual mileage varies
 His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels
 His brain could be the perfect dielectric
 His brain was sold separately and they were out of stock
 His buffer is full
 His clutch is slipping
 His deck has no face cards
 His elevator is stuck between floors
 His family wasn't dysfunctional until he arrived
 His gene line isn't just dead, it's extinct
 His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons
 His head whistles in a cross wind
 His home planet is flat

 His IQ is a false positive