hilarious mid week gordies.....

 Little Red Riding Hood was involved in an accident.

Paramedics are on the scene but she's not out of the woods yet.

 

Noticed something very odd when reading the obituaries yesterday…
everyone is dying in alphabetical order

 

I plan to live forever.
So far, so good.

 

I’m done wearing my glasses, I’ve seen enough.

 

What do you call Turkish nonsense?
Istanbulshit

 

Turned out everyone at the potluck was a vegan
I feared for the wurst.

 

Technically, every restaurant is a drive-thru.
It just depends how fast you're driving.

 

I went to a lecture about unmanned aircraft, but it was boring.
The speaker just droned on and on.

 

What kind of operation changes how a pickle looks?
Vlasic surgery

 

Fred's wife gets so frustrated with her sewing machine. She tears up everything afterwards.
IIt’s true. You really do rip what you sew.