great collection of dating ads from eva....

 

FOXY LADY 
Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4' (used to be 5'6'), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion.

Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

 

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT 
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband.
Looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot.
Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath, not a problem.

 

SERENITY NOW 
I am into solitude, long walks,
sunrises, the ocean, yoga,
and meditation.

If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out, and enjoy quiet times.

 

WINNING SMILE 
Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob, and caramel candy.

 

MEMORIES
I can usually remember
Monday through Thursday.
If you can remember
Friday, Saturday and Sunday,
let's put our two heads together.

 

MINT CONDITION
Male, 1932 model, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves.

Isn't in running condition, but walks well.

AND FINALLY
A lady in the Villages in Florida (a senior retirement community), was sitting on a bench near another
bench with a gentleman sitting on a bench.

She asked him if he was new to the community and he said, "No, I have owned a condo here for 20 years."

She then said, "I have been here for 15 years and I have never seen you around!"

He then said, "I have been in prison for the last 17 years!"

She was stunned and finally asked him what he had done.

He said that he had murdered his first wife!

She was stunned again, and after a long pause, she said, "So, you're SINGLE???"