best gordism in a long time...

Fred used to hang out at the gym all the time, then a trainer told him to wear long pants.

Fred recently became a crossing guard at a local school.

He hates when I ask how the child trafficking is going.

 

Boss: "You've got to find a way to make fewer mistakes on the job"
Fred: "Ok, how about I come in later in the morning?"

 

The difference between a French kiss and an Australian kiss?
They’re the same kiss, but the Aussie one is down under.

 

Fred was a cartographer and he groped his coworker
He had no sense of boundaries

 

Fred just got a job working at a haunted house…

He's a fright attendant

 

Fred has just written a book called "Fifty Shades of Gravy"
It's very saucy