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  Fred is writing a paper titled "Water Condensation on Grass" for his employer. It's dew in the morning . The word 'nothing' is a palindrome... Backwards it spells 'gnihton', which also means nothing. The city's road work department is laying off  a lot of workers. They invented a shovel that stands up by itself. After years of watching cave exploration videos I've finally figured out what they are all searching for inside those caves. Common sense, and they never find it.
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  Fred hosted a Roman-themed party with the only entertainment being a sculpture. It was a bust. Fred failed his beer exam despite cramming for hours. All that work to know of ale. Fred is addicted to doing stunts in Westerns. He was sober for three years but then he fell off the wagon. Fred's wife said a lot of gossip is going around about the new tenants next door. Fred said, “They’re probably just roomers

where's mitch?.....

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  A cat that can’t use a litter box? illitterate. Fred often goes to a bar named arthritis. The bartender pours a mighty stiff drink. Every time Fred rides a bike he falls off, it’s a painful cycle.
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