he's lost it.....gotta see

 Fred can name every single hard shelled reptile without hesitation

He has turtle recall.

A local deli has been advertising how good their bagels and cream cheese are.

It's a real schmeer campaign.

Fred couldn’t afford an ancestry DNA kit
So he started a rumor that he won the lottery. Found all his relatives in record time.

If someone hands you a colonoscopy probe, you probably won't like the answer if you ask them what you're supposed to do with it.