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Fred found an audio book to learn sign language. It’s in Audible. Trump never brings his clubs with him to Cancun. I guess he just doesn’t like the golf of Mexico. Raccoons that break into cybertrucks are disappointed that the only garbage inside is the driver. Fred bought an unusually long and narrow house – his wife likes the kitchen but he's in it for the long hall. I knew it was genuine French onion soup because it made fun of my accent and corrected my use of the subjunctive.
If you can think of a better fish pun… …let minnow. Fred learned how to do drugs in school. It was high school. I'm at that age where my mind still thinks I'm 29, my humor suggests I'm 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I'm sure I'm not dead yet. Fred couldn’t find any bouillon cubes in the supermarket. Apparently they’re out of stock. Fred listened to his wife's audiobook, but accidentally deleted it halfway through... Now he’ll never hear the end of it.
The country with the best street food? Eat-alley. Old McDonald went to the plus-sized dress store with his wife. There was a muumuu here and a muumuu there. Fred was the first to hear about a new ice cream shop. He got an early scoop. A man with a seagull on his shoulder? Cliff. Fred went for a walk, even though his leg was hurting. He was really going out on a limp.
Fred's wife begged him to stop quoting Rolling Stones song titles every time she spoke to him. He said OK, this will be The Last Time. Fred's wife dated a hotel bellhop when she was younger. She broke it off though, he carried too much baggage. A woman who isn't very good at drawing? Tracey. I asked my wife, “If I made some Indian food…” “Would it curry your favor?” Fred's wife had an affair with a deep sea diver. He never thought that she'd sink too a depth so low .
Gordisms....
I told my doctor that I was experiencing déjà vu. "Ah," he replied, "we've all been there before." At the restaurant, Fred got some meat as a side dish. It was a flank steak. I meant to give my utmost but only managed my almost. The hardest part about trying not to make motown puns is the temptations. I asked my wife to look up the definition of 'vicariously' for me. I was vicurious.
Gordisms...
I felt bad for a crow that was vocalizing it was in distress. I was sympathetic to the caws. Jeff Bezos divorced his wife after 25 years of marriage. She was past her prime. Fred saw his neighbor stealing socks from Fred's clothesline. He was going to say something, but got cold feet. Never trust a meteorologist. They know nothing about meteors. Remorse is sending the same telegram twice .
Gordisms...
Fred's tax returns got audited by CRA. He thought that he'd save money by having them prepared by H&R Blockhead. When Fred was a kid, he got hit in the face with a snowball. He's had bad ice-site ever since. A charity organization that lets people smell the food but not eat it? Salivation army. Never trust atoms. Because they always split when things get heated. She said he really was a model husband -- just not a working model.