Canada is potentially about to elect a Prime Minister with a PhD in economics from Oxford, Mexico elected someone with a degree in physics and a PhD in energy engineering. America elected a barely sentient turnip.
Posts
Fred tried to annoy me with bird puns. But toucan play that game. The city that has the most retail stores? Do buy. I’m beginning to realise that my jokes aren’t landing as well anymore. I’m pretty sure it’s a case of irony deficiency. The name of the guy who doesn't want go into work? Collin. I got hit by a tesla. I did nazi it coming.
a waist of time. A lot of people are throwing shade at Canada’s least known territory. But I’m having Nunavut. Sex workers often wear high heels. They don't want to sell themselves short. The demolition industry has been experiencing very slow growth over the last 10 years. But sooner or later, it's gonna explode. Cocaine is never a solution – unless of course you dissolve it in water. The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic. A phlebotomist's moto? We do our work in vein.
If a "Medium" can speak to the dead... ...imagine what a "Large" could do. A propane truck driver got a speeding ticket. He was hauling gas. An actor who was one hell of an Oarswoman? Lisa Kudrow. Someone called my phone, sneezed, coughed, and then hung up. It was a cold call . Whoever put the b into subtle, really knew what they were doing.
I played poker with cards made from origami paper. Almost immediately, I had to fold. A neighbor alerted Fred that the water pump in his backyard was broken. Fred said, "I know...I'm well aware." Chess players pay their bills with checks. Fred's girlfriend is obsessed with perfectly tuning her guitar. She just craves a tension. Someone glued all my playing cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.
A fraudster who paints famous Mongolian rulers? Khan artist. When I see lover's names carved into a tree I think it is strange how many people take knives on a date. Workout sweat is just your body crying. Ravens have 17 pinion feathers, whereas crows have 16. The difference between Ravens and Crows is therefore only a matter of a pinion.
Have you heard about George Foreman's tombstone? It's so good he put his name on it. Teaching astrophysics these days is quite depressing. It’s a dark matter. My wife said all i do is tell bee jokes and she's sick of hearing them everyday.. I'll admit that stung a little. North Korea is heartless because it doesn't have a Seoul.
I saw an elderly man collecting shopping carts outside my local supermarket. He must have been pushing 80. Fred's car engine quit working. He says it was car-diac arrest. Fred had to breakup with a girl who kept making fun of him for being colour blind. It was a huge grey flag for him. Fred was asked to stop making police puns. So he decided to give it arrest. ford escort
Americans say they don’t want to use the metric system. But they have been using 9mm in schools all around the country. Fred took way too many mushrooms and fell down the stairs. It was such a bad trip. Fred tried to start a professional hide-and-seek team… But good players are hard to find. Another name for the periodic table? The atoms family.
I was going to send and average pun, but that would be mean. Not sure exactly how much a rainbow weighs. But it’s pretty light. My wife asked "why don't you write a book instead of just making these stupid puns?" I said, "well that's a novel idea". When I think about parking, I think about a lot. Fred's Bulgarian friend couldn’t get the chess player to leave. But his Czech mate did.
