crotchety ruv

  My father was born a conjoined twin His brother was my uncle on my father's side, once removed.   Fred used to dislike waxing his car. But lately He has really taken a shine to it.   I had the craziest dream about a medieval nobleman’s horse. Yes, it was a knight mare.   Fred just went through a long audit with CRA. It was very taxing.   A horse’s favourite Beatles tune? Hay chewed.   Fred was in an 80s band called Prevention. It was better than The Cure.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=Twlg-ApJgtQ&si=04xyI800pkZnYhCp  

 

 

 

Gravity really humbles you. It keeps you down to earth.   I once dreamt that I was an oil field. I can’t tell you how bored I was.   I hate bricklayers. They're my mortar enemies.   I bought a smart light bulb. It's very bright.   An hispanic dialect in which people constantly and unneededly bother someone? Spamish.   Fred went to the library to get a book on abdominal pain. Someone had already ripped the appendix out.  

 

 

 

 

 

  Let's take a moment to think about the waitstaff on cruise ships.. Never forget these uniformed men and women, serving over seas.   When handbags are treated as less valuable, second class accessories… Is that pursecution?   Fred tried to take his own picture in the shower but the image was too blurry. He has selfie steam issues.   A comic sans storm is approaching.. Forecasters are saying it’s a weather font.   Fred bought a high-priced calculator to do multiplication, but only used it once. That was one expensive product.   Fred donated some money to the Orphaned Crows Society. It's for a good caws.

 

 

 

  Last night I dreamt that I was but a single piece in an enormous jigsaw. I was puzzled.   Fred's wife thinks he should stop talking about philosophy near the trash can. She’s been telling her friends that He's getting too heavy around the waste.   Who else would like to see a puppet show without the puppets? Let's see a show of hands.   I f you go for a run, but 30 seconds into it you start walking, that's called intermittent fasting.   The wonderful thing about nihilism is that it doesn't matter.   When they want more qualifiers to the World Limbo Dancing Championships, do they set the bar higher or lower? Fred thinks he has a good joke about Ikea furniture. But he's still trying to put it together.   Fred's wife was sad about getting laryngitis so he asked her how it happened. She said it wasn't easy to talk about.   Fred was calculating if he could save more water by taking baths or 5-minute showers. In the e...

 

 

 

  Tasha Kheiriddin: Africans are being slaughtered, but with no Jews to blame, the left shrugs Author of the article: Tasha Kheiriddin Published Nov 24, 2023   •   Last updated 3 hours ago   •   3 minute read 39 Comments (FILES) A man stands by as a fire rages in a livestock market area in al-Fasher, the capital of Sudan's North Darfur state, on September 1, 2023, in the aftermath of bombardment by the paramilitary Rapid Support Forces (RSF) (Photo by -/AFP via Getty Images) Article content There’s a place on this earth where terrorists  are shooting babies  in the head,  mass-raping women  to “punish and terrorize” populations, and burning entire communities to the ground. Where women and girls  have been taken hostage  and are being held in “slave-like conditions.” Where an ethnic group is being targeted for its race by Arab terrorists bent on driving them out of their homeland. Article content Is that pla...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  Fred was looking for a good towel joke. He really likes dry humor.   A sexuality where you’re attracted to both men and women but they are not attracted to you? Bi-yourself.   Fred finally broke down and joined Christian Mingle. HIs username is....ComeGetPsalm.   Life without love is meaningless, but love without life is necrophilia.   The invention of the spoon was an important point in human history. It caused quite a stir.   A priest got carpal tunnel syndrome from playing too many old-time card games. He received the euchre-wrist. How do flat-earthers travel? On a plane.   Fred likes both men and women, but is currently single. He is on stand-bi right now.   The first prime number is two. It’s odd that it’s even.   Last year Fred chopped down his tree, but this year it seems to have grown back. I guess his tree repeats itself.   A small dog that constantly rats out his homies? Snitch-zs...

  In court a lawyer was cross-examining a doctor about whether or not he had checked the pulse of the deceased before he signed the death certificate. "No," the doctor said. "I did not check his pulse." "And did you listen for a heartbeat?" asked the lawyer. "No I did not," the doctor said. "So," said the lawyer, "when you signed the death certificate, you had not taken steps to make sure he was dead." The doctor said, "Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was in a jar on my desk but, you are right. He could still be out practicing law somewhere."

 

 

 

 

https://www.visualcapitalist.com/carbon-emissions-by-country-2022/