crotchety ruv

wild party happenin' in aisle 15!

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. He asks a priest for his opinion on this question. The priest says after consulting the Bible, "My son, after an exhaustive search I am positive sex is work and is not permitted on Sundays. The man thinks: "what does a priest know of sex?".. He goes to a minister...a married man, experienced. He queries the minister and receives the same reply. .Sex is work and not for the Sabbath! Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority: a man of thousands of years of tradition and knowledge: A Rabbi. The Rabbi ponders the question and states: "My son, sex is definitely play," The man replies," Rabbi, how can you be so sure when others tell me sex is work?! The Rabbi softly speaks, "If sex were work...my wife would have the maid do it."

gordisms and crackin' eggs....

People say I'm contrarian but I disagree. Read the entire book about the history of superglue in one sitting I couldn’t put it down I have a suspicion that certain herbs can talk... Only thyme will tell. Please don't laugh at my puns. I tell them because I'm a groan man. I just met the saddest German ever. Hans down. Saw a notice on the side of an Apple store that read, "Apply inside" And I was thinking to myself, "That makes a lot of sense... I mean, it's not going to be Orangey inside is it?" The maintenance guy lost his legs on the job. Now he’s just a handyman. Fred used to be a Professional Digresser but this career went off track. I always buy the smallest jar of pickles I can The big jars are too cumbersome Why is it called boot camp and not private practice?

sold out! Oh those americans....

https://www.cnn.com/2022/01/20/business/bologna-mask-oscar-mayer-sold-out/index.html

great letters (to the ottawa citizen) regarding the trucker convoy...

Truckers should work a shift in the ER As an emergency nurse for more than 40 years, for the past 10 working as a geriatric emergency management nurse tasked with helping seniors stay in homes after they’re discharged from emergency, I find the “freedom fighters” and their support of the truckers coming to our city insulting and appalling. I would like any of them and their supporters to spend a day in a hospital, especially in emergency. One morning last weekend, there were only four beds available in emergency, only one that was monitored. A discussion was had about who could come off a cardiac monitor. There were 42 admissions in emergency, virtually freezing our capacity to respond to the needs of our community, and blocking ambulance availability to unload their patients. Entire wards are in lockdown due to the number of COVID patients so we are unable to admit patients to them. Due to an unprecedented staff shortage, anyone with support worker experience, managers of physiotherap

You shouldn’t date others with psoriasis because they're always flakey The divorce rate among socks is absolutely ridiculous. Fred works the front desk, deflecting patients from getting appointments. He's a deceptionist. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. At his office, Fred has a workstation. An apple a day will keep anyone away. You just gotta throw it hard enough I took a photo of a corn field. It was a cropped image. Ferd once took a holiday to the North Pole It was great while he was there but after that his holiday just went south. We've decided to go with a Swiss interior in my house Neutral colors Fred got arrested for downloading Wikipedia in its entirety. When taken into custody, he told them that he could explain everything. Fred might be considered fat, but he actually identifies as skinny Because he's trans-slender What do you call a divorce lawye

I had a dream....lmao....

a mass of laughs from mel...

jake and his getting old song.....

Fred's car is made up of odd parts from other cars It’s an eclectic vehicle How long should you microwave fish for? Tuna half minutes Fred's sex life is like Coca Cola. First it was Regular, then Light and now Zero. Music is just like candy... It's great once you get rid of the rapper. Do you remember that chiropractor joke I sent? It was about a week back? Fred said his wife is like Vanity Fair magazine, She has a new issue every month. My wife says the salads I make tend to be a bit on the “dry” side. It’s definitely something that needs addressing. If you suddenly get ghosted by someone who was flirting with you, you're the victim of a hint-and-run. Fred wants to start a new business recycling discarded chewing gum; He just needs a little help getting if off the ground. I lost my job as a garbage collector. I had no training but I thought I would pick it up as I go.

only in the usa....guns ok, but not a naked mouse! from steve

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-60153696

moe snapped a pic from across the street.....

vince loves those aussie commercials.....

mid week gordies...

Fred said that left his wife because she would not stop counting. He doesn't know what she is up to now. The one quality that's a must for any good chauffeur? Fine motor control Neal Diamond’s birth name was Neal Coal It was the pressure that made him into the singer he became. There is an online service that matches people with their favorite Southern foods It's called eHominy.com Fred told me he's worried about his guitar playing addiction. I told him don't fret. Where in a garden would you look for Creeping Thyme? In the Subherbs I asked my dermatologist why she waits a month to diagnose a skin disorder she replied she's reluctant to make a rash decision Have anyone else's gardening skills improved during the quarantine? I planted myself on the couch months ago and have grown significantly since. I lost my job as a human cannonball. I got fired

mel loves her funny videos....

gotta see video.....