Gordisms...

 Fred's car is made up of odd parts from other cars

It’s an eclectic vehicle

 

How long should you microwave fish for?
Tuna half minutes

 

Fred's sex life is like Coca Cola.
First it was Regular, then Light and now Zero.

 

Music is just like candy...
It's great once you get rid of the rapper.

 

Do you remember that chiropractor joke I sent?
It was about a week back?

 

Fred said his wife is like Vanity Fair magazine,
She has a new issue every month.

 

My wife says the salads I make tend to be a bit on the “dry” side.
It’s definitely something that needs addressing.

 

If you suddenly get ghosted by someone who was flirting with you, you're the victim of a hint-and-run.

 

Fred wants to start a new business recycling discarded chewing gum; He just needs a little help getting if off the ground.

 

I lost my job as a garbage collector. I had no training but I thought I would pick it up as I go.