Posts
thursday gordies and more....
My placebo medication has made me feel better already. And I haven't even taken it yet. My friend died when an A/C unit fell on him What a cool way to go. I'm allergic to Bitcoin. You could say it's my cryptonite A butter knife makes for a great close range home defense weapon. It's got good spread. I hate being bi polar. It's awesome. Fred wasn't impressed with his aircraft signalling course, it was just a lot of hand-waving. What do German Communists and German Capitalists have in common? They both love Marks The movie "Speed" featuring Keanu had no director. Because if it had had direction, the movie would be called "Velocity"
mid week gordies & more....
How does a skunk change a light bulb? It doesn't, it just makes a stink about it... Which vegetable do you stand in line for? A queue cumber. Fred lost over 200lb Now he's half the man he used to be. The best way to get a handle on your drinking? Use a coffee mug The frequency at which laughter becomes painful? 1 Gigglehurts Fred created a new recipe the other day. Crackers with french fries on top, doused in gravy. He calls it "Poutine on the Ritz" When your washing machine has a load of only boxers, panties, and briefs, do you use the genital cycle? How’d Persians become so physically fit? Tehran.
tuesday gordisms & more....
Fred has the body of a porn star. All of his clothes say XXX. Why did the atheist refuse to leave the apiary? He wasn't a bee leaver. Where do you find a cheating spouse at a carnival? Affairs wheel Fred's wife wanted to go on vacation, but he wanted a staycation... spoiler so they compromised and had an altercation I had to quit my job as an ice cream taste tester I just couldn’t work sundaes Fred always wanted to marry Siamese twins. So he could have a wife and a girlfriend on the side. Young kids use a dating app on their phone. Older kids use a dating website on their computers. Adults use a matchmaking service to get dates. Senior citizens meet potential dates at church events. Anyone older than that will have to resort to carbon dating.
monday gordisms & more...
Fred dated a woman with a wooden leg for a while. But he broke it off. I taught my friend how to use Incognito mode yesterday The rest is not history. Fred quit his job with a well digger company. He got tired of the hole boring business. Fred's glutes are different sizes. He is asssymmetrical A pirate's least favorite exercise? The PLANK Did you hear about the boater who got mad every time his boat floated away? He had to take anchor management classes. My pet frog has broken his leg. He's not very hoppy. With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it's only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guy's truck leaves him too.
