he's lost it.....gotta see

 The difference between a device you make calls on and getting hoisted by your own petard?

One is a cell phone, the other is a self-own.

Fred accidentally put the dishwashing detergent up on the top shelf.
It made his wife jump for joy.

What kind of pants would a ghost hunter wear?
Just a paranormal jeans.

Between Fred and his wife, Fred is the only one who gambles on horse races.
You could say he is her bettor half.