he's lost it.....gotta see

 Fred says he’s putting aside a little money every week to buy a trimmer for the bushes around the yard.

It's his hedge fund.

Fred went to a restaurant that only served organ meat.
It was offal.

Fred's wife was on the phone, trying to take a message when she asked him to get her something hard to write on.
He handed her a pillow.

Fred was charging his electric car at home and thinking how much better this was than going to a gas station.
But in the end he was just fueling himself.