Posts
If you’re gonna start making jokes about guns, I would appreciate a trigger warning. Fred asked his son about his first job working for city transportation. He shrugged and said, “it’s bussin’”, Latvians have the best public servants in the baltics They're very Rigarous, while the Estonians are Tallin behind. A German butcher makes sausages out of seabirds… Today he took a Tern for the Wurst. Fred is going to start a taxi service for seniors. He'll call it Oldsmobile.
Fred's kids enjoy hearing made up stories about giants. They love tall tales. I bought my wife an electric blanket. And now she rolls her eyes when I call the old blankets "acoustic covers." Someone asked me how many Godfather films I had seen. I said only a Coppola them. People recovering in hospital usually have a distinct odor. It's convale scent. Fred watched a documentary on the history of laxatives… It was surprisingly moving. The local company that produces hummus, tzatziki, and baba ganoush isn’t as good as it used to be. They’ve really taken a dip. A crab that doesn’t move is crustaceanary. Fred's knee is like a high school. Very clicky. I saw a picture of the medical staff at my physician's clinic. It looked like a doctored photo. Why did the dad joke cross the road? To get to the other sighed.
Fred's therapist said that his narcissism causes him to misread social situations. But he's pretty sure she was flirting with him. Paul Simon wrote a guide for recovering alcoholics. "50 Ways To Love Your Liver". An ice company lost power at their warehouse. They had to liquidate their entire inventory. Why did Art Garfunkel sing with Paul Simon? He couldn't duet alone. Fred wants to be buried with his record collection. It's his vinyl request. Why is Rage Against the Machine such a good workout playlist? Probably because they are a resistance band. A dictator walks into a bar... ...and orders everyone around. Fred gets nervous shakes when teaching his boy to parallel park… The doctor says it may be a case of Parkingsons. I thought I could hear Marvin Gaye singing somewhere inside my bottle of expensive Chardonnay. I heard it through the great wine. Which athletes make the best comedians? Boxers. They deliver great punchlines.
https://www.facebook.com/22Minutes/posts/we-had-a-good-run-didnt-we/1009300917910489/ Great minds think alike. Small minds run in circles. It’s actually illegal for hotels to provide good service. They’ll get charged with public inn decency. Fred's kids were throwing scrabble tiles at each other. He told them it's all fun and games until someone loses an I. Fred is sick and tired of his boss at the microbiology lab. He is a relentless microbemanager. I bought a new freezer and it had the numbers 007 on it. It has a license to chill.
Fred spent $300 to hire a limousine and discovered that the fee did not include a driver. He can't believe spending all that money and having nothing to chauffeur it. A sleepwalking nun is a roamin' catholic. People who want liposuction be warned, there is a big weight list. If you're having second thoughts you're two up on most people. The muscle behind Fred's shin atrophied. Turns out he was drinking too much decalf. The city of Portland is good at keeping things neat and tidy. They know how to Oregonize things. Sherpas were shocked to discover a man sleeping on Mount Everest. They found Himalayan there. Bill Nye broke up with his boyfriend. No more Mr. Nye’s guy. Fred is obsessed with enunciating and speaking clearly at all times. He has a diction addiction. Vietnamese and Indian restaurant owners are different. One is Pho profit, the other is Naan profit.
Fred's donkey is always causing trouble. What a bad ass. I think there's something wrong with a burner on my stove... But I can't quite put my finger on it. Fred's cheese store was always cool and drafty. He said it was because of the Bries. Fred recently had a great job working in a Helium factory. He can't speak highly enough about the place. Fred went to the library to find some books on improving his credit rating. Turned out they were all on loan. The Cheers cast reunion wasn't well attended. But at least George Wendt. Fred doesn't know a lot about beaches, But he is trying to shore up his knowledge. A judge sighed as he waded through a mountain of paperwork on his docket. He was just going through the motions. Fred is opening a cheese store. It's going to be called Grate Expectations. A carnival clown was fired for scaring kids with his makeup. He's suing the owners for funfair dismissal.
.jpeg)
Thanks for explaining the meaning of the word "numerous" to me.. ...it means a lot. The weirdest summer job Fred ever had was cleaning the monkey cages at the zoo… That shit was bananas. Fred was trying to print all the pictures from his phone at once, but the printer started stalling. It was a graphic jam. You know what they say about guys with big feet...., They have big shoes and a lot of sole. FredIs is researching the effect of aging on skin, but he isn't going along the right lines. The vegetables Fred ordered at dinner were really sad. He said they should have been called despair-agus. "Just so you know," said the doctor to Fred, "your wife is having quadruplets." That was his fourwarning. Fred said that his wife has an awful memory She never seems to forget. Fred was excited to join a concrete-pouring crew. But then he realized it was just filling in forms all day. The key to a good post office joke is the delivery. Why is there always a sh...
