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 There was a serial killer who only committed his crimes in morgues.

He was really infamous for cutting coroners.

Fred's girlfriend wants him to choose between her and his career as a reporter...
He has some breaking news for her.

Fred insists on beating egg whites for souffles with a fork, afraid they'll collapse if he doesn't.
He's pretty whisk averse.

Nothing is truly lost until the mom can't find it.

Fred went to a Shotgun wedding yesterday....it was a serious case of Wife or Death.


Does Satan get Christmas wish lists from dyslexic children?

Beethoven’s favorite Christmas song?
Fur-Elise Navidad.

Fred likes to debate with flat earthers…
He figures they’ll come around eventually.

A unicorn that's had its horn removed?
Eunuchorn.

Fred is going to open up a donut shop, and call it Hole Foods.





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