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 Fred got a gift basket from his psychiatrist for Christmas...

It arrived shrink wrapped.

Fred ran out of refills for his fountain pen.
It was a minor inkconvenience.

A monkey's favorite kind of candy?
Rhesus Pieces.

Fred is a celiac who insists on eating whole wheat bread.
He is a gluten for punishment,

A former Italian Prime Minister doing a striptease?
Silvio Burlesque-oni.


Fred played golf Christmas day and hit a birdie.
It was a partridge on a par 3.

I used to hate traffic roundabouts.
But after using them for a while, I've come around.

Fred touched some poison ivy and changed his pronouns thereafter.
He now goes by "it/she".

Fred poured her a drink and said "Say when..."
She replied, "after this drink".

Fred cut his finger and needed some sutures.
I was going to make a joke about nerve damage but it feels a little insensitive now.





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