Gordisms...

 

Is a new pope chosen by winning a pope-ularity contest?

 

Back in the old days, people often argued about how to properly light a fire in a wood stove.
It may sound minor, but things could get pretty heated.

 

Fred's puppy isn't fat.

She's just a little husky.

 

My wife is leaving me because I tell her too many Star Wars puns.
Divorce is strong in this one.

 

Everyone knows Mona Lisa, but no one seems to care about her husband.
He is completely out of the picture.

 

At first, the captain of the Jolly Roger hated his job.
But after a little while, he was hooked.

I drank a hot brewed beverage while reading a good book.

It was quite a novel-tea.

 

My friend asked me if I knew where he could get a wig.
I said not off the top of my head.

 

An interior designer was retiring.

He was praised for having a decorated career.

 

I locked myself in a suitcase once.
I feel like I may have gotten carried away.

 

A dyslexic guy walked into a bra..
He ended up with the booby prize.

 

Fred's doctor is an avid golfer and also owns a colonoscopy clinic.
Apparently he does 18 holes a day.