from doug.....

 Scientifically, a raven has 17 primary wing feathers, the big ones at the end of the wing are called pinion feathers. A crow has 16. So, the difference between a raven and a crow is only a matter of a pinion.

 

I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling jokes. I turned to a local tribal leader and said, "That lizard is really funny!" The leader replied, "That's not a lizard. He's a stand-up chameleon."

I once dated a gal who broke up with me because I only have 9 toes. Yes, she was lack-toes intolerant.

 

I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness.

Ran out of toilet paper and now using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, and tomorrow romaines to be seen.

 

My friend Jack says he can communicate with vegetables. That's right...Jack and the beans talk.

 

I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plants. You probably have not heard of herbivore.