What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
"I'm so over you."
Mick Jagger sued his plastic surgeon..
.. He didn't get nose satisfaction.
Fred was accused of stealing a torso from the morgue today.
He was really taken aback.
People make a lot of mistakes when texting in the cold.
It’s the early signs of typothermia.
When SpaceX gets to their 1,000th launch they should name it
the Millennium Falcon.
What I If told you you read this line wrong?
The Vatican is starting a new airline.
They’ll be giving deep discounts to frequent friars.
Some species of salamanders make good detectives.
They axolotl questions.
Archaeologists in Egypt have discovered a mummy covered in
nuts and chocolate…
They think it must be Pharaoh Rocher.
The preferred cell phone provider for incels?
Virgin Mobile
Fred's ex used to hit him with stringed instruments.
He regrets not knowing about her history of violins.
An aunt that never shows up to family reunions?
Tru-aunt
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