From doug....

 An Israeli soldier who had just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.

The CO says "Are you crazy? You just joined the Israeli army and already want a 3-day pass?

You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"

So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!

The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?"

"Well, I jumped in a tank and went toward the border with the Arabs.

I approached the border and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up.

I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass?

He did, so we exchanged tanks!"

 

2] Did you hear the one about the man who opened a dry cleaning business next door to the convent?

He knocked on the door and asked the Mother Superior if she had any dirty habits.