Gordisms...

 

Catholicism is a Protestant sect

They're Rhythm Methodists

If you overload a small potentiometer… you smoke a little pot.

Have you ever drank so much milk you felt drunk...

Drunk to the point you can't see pasteurised?

When a cow runs out of milk there is no noise.

Just udder silence

Oscar Hammerstein actually wrote a song about his favourite seafood.

Salmon Chanted Evening

Fred's ailing, obese parrot died recently

It was a large weight off his shoulders

I was once so broke I couldn't pay my electricity bill.

Those were the darkest days of my life.