gordisms....

 

What's the difference between rockets and an empty plate at an English cream tea?
One has nose cones and the other has no scones.

 

What does a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?
They are both Paris sites.

 

Why does Missouri like being surrounded by other states?
Because Missouri loves company

 

What do you call a wizard who tries to change your political opinions?
Propagandalf

 

What vegetable grows best in a whorehouse?
Brothelsprouts.

 

Fred's first wife was deaf. The marriage lasted less than a year.
She kept giving him the silent treatment.

 

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

 

If you ever get locked out of your house...
Talk to your lock calmly. Communication is key.