Gordisms...

 

ONE spelling mistake can ruin your entire marriage.

Fred accidentally messaged his wife "I'm having a great time. I wish you were her”.

Why doesn't Istanbul have a Royal family?

Because they... can't stand a noble.

Apparently there’s a new fetish where you inflate farm animals with helium.

Well, whatever floats your goat.

The last Czar thought that the Russian revolution...

...was just a load of Bolshevik.