he's back......

 

Why are accountants always depressed?
Because it's accrual world.

 

People say 60 is the new 40.
I tried it out, but I still got a speeding ticket.

 

A popular singer who smells like cheese?
Brieyonce.

 

Fred used to be a bookworm until he discovered audiobooks on tapes.
Now he's a tapeworm.

 

A quantum physicist broke up with his girlfriend.
He said she was too quarky, which led to too much uncertainty.

 

I used to date a woman who said my face looked like the back end of a boat.
I didn’t say anything but I did give her a stern look.