These days you're asked to tip everywhere you go.
It seems rather gratuitous.

 

The doctor told me my prostate was good.
I was deeply touched.

 

The reason carpenters often switch projects?
Because they get board.

 

Fred was in a very quick staring contest the other day...
It was over in a blink of an eye.

 

Arthritis is just your joints getting ready for rigor mortis.


Never use double negatives, they are a no no.

 

I saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.

 

The most narcissistic of all physicians is the ophthalmologist.
It's always eye, eye, eye.

 

A gang started to steal all kinds of rocks containing metal.
That's oreganized crime.

 

A group of travellers who are never angry?
Nomads.

 

Paul McCartney was disqualified from the London Marathon.
Banned on the Run.



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