Gordisms...

 

Growing up my dad always said “Gallons”, “Quarts”, “Pints”, and “Cups”.
It just spoke volumes to me.

 

In his time in the Tour de France, Lance Armstrong was not only taking performance enhancing drugs..
He was also peddling.

 

Fred has Parkinson’s.
He can’t hold a steady job.

 

Of all the cold cuts and sausages in the world...
...the ones from Germany are the wurst.

 

Sometimes I forget to tie my shoes.
Lately it happens more often than knot.

 

It is known that there are five Great Lakes in North America…
but one is truly Superior.

My doctor suspects I might have monkeypox.
I’ll swing by his office tomorrow.

 

My kayak has...one oars power.

 

If you are in a hurry and have to throw up...
Does it become a running gag?

 

The odds that you’ll laugh at this joke are pun-in-a-million.

 

My friends keep telling me that I’m the cheapest person they have ever met.
I’m not buying it.