Gordisms...

 

Fred wrote a play about broken bones.
Now all he needs is a cast...

 

Why is it easier to stop a car going downhill?
Because braking up is hard to do.

 

Fred finally taught his grandma what email was.
It changed her whole Outlook on life.

 

I saw an audiologist today, but I think I'll get a second opinion...
Why on earth would I need Heron Eggs?

 

Which Aerosmith song would you listen to if you were excited to start a lower paying job?
Sweet Demotion.

 

Fred worships certain shades of blue
He's a Cyantologist.

My wife and I were arguing about whose hobby was better.
It was a conflict of interests.

 

It's ironic how funeral directors have raised the price of funerals.
And blamed it on the cost of living.

 

Fred said that his job as a tailor was just sew sew,

 

My wife has a tendency to kill every house plant we get.
I told her when it comes to plant care she has the Midas touch, as in Midas well not bother.

 

Why are they called “elevators” when that’s only half of their job?

 

Fred found out his girlfriend was really a ghost.

He suspected so, the moment she walked through the door