Gordisms...

 

Fred thought that he would make a great yoga instructor.
But then figured it would be too much of a stretch.

 

Fred had a fear of people over six feet, but he's over it...
He developed a tall-erance.

 

Mensa claims they can work out how smart someone is by having them wait in line for free ice-cream.
They call it an "I queue" test.

 

Before you start on some dangerous work, it’s a good idea to do the "Safety Twerk".

Show a bun dance of caution.

 

I’ve taken up drats.
It’s like darts but i miss a lot.

 

Imagine the self control required to work at a bubble wrap factory.

A fortune teller realized that soon she was going to need stitches.

It was a foreseeable suture.

 

Fred highly recommends his chiropractor...
He does a cracking job.

 

People these days are so judgemental.
I can tell just by looking at them.

 

I think I took my interest in statues and busts too far.
I got a head of myself.

 

Fred bought some wood and brackets to organize his books on the wall.

It was a do-it your-shelf project.

 

Recipes are like a dating service.
They never end up looking like the pictures.