Gordisms...

 

Fred has been seeing a counselor who uses Dad Jokes Therapy.
He’s a sigh-cologist.

 

Went to a concert last night and the opening act was an illustrator.
I was a bit disappointed at first but she really drew a crowd.

 

Fred was happy to finish putting the supports up for his new roof.
He was beaming.

 

Fred kept forgetting where he left his shoes.
So he bought some memory foam sneakers.

 

Yesterday Fred changed a lightbulb, crossed the road, and walked into a bar.
That's when he realized his whole life was a joke.

 

Fred is taking the shelf off the top of his fireplace.
He's going to dismantle it.

Pirates and rappers are alike.
They both say, "Yo ho!" And they both be lookin' for booty.

 

Fred doesn't mind going to the dentist, but his tongue always gets depressed.

 

Gonorrhea would have been a great name for a diarrhea cure.

 

Why are many people afraid of the dentist?
They always start with a cavity search.

 

I found a great website to get sausages online.
I'll send you a link.

 

The space between the rungs of a ladder have increased in recent years.
Manufacturers claim it's due to climb it change.