Gordisms...

What happens if you fall behind in cosmetology school?

You have to do make-up work.

Fred made a movie about farm life..

But the film quality was too grainy and the plot was very corny.

When I walk my dog I always tie a string to his collar...

It's the leash I can do.

Fred checked his home insurance policy.

Found that if someone steals his blanket during the night, he's not covered.

Fred has a terrible stutter

By the time he told us his nana died, we were all singing Hey Jude.

My resistance training program is going excellently at the moment.

So far I've resisted training 5 days in a row.

Fred said that he heard a buzzing in his ear.

I told him not to worry, there is a bug going around.

Fred and his wife first met in the computer repair shop where he worked.

She had broken one of the keys on her keyboard...it was F8.

If your business dissolves because it’s insolvent, you have a problem.

But you also have a solution.

When lawyers sleep they take turns lying on both sides.

Fred just watched the most boring porn film ever.

He said it was like watching taint dry.

The drunk tennis player was over served.