Gordisms...

Someone asked me today if I was surprised by how little people change.

I always assumed the process is the same. They just have tiny clothes.

What do you do with 100 ripe peaches?

You eat what you can, and you can what you can't.

What do you do when your trampoline isn't working?

Jump start it.

The best way to connect with a Scotsman?

Make "Aye" contact.

The best thing about lying in bed?

She believes you.

Paint it Black forever changed the way I see a red door.

Don’t you hate when you read read as read and not read, so you have to re-read read as read so you can read read correctly.

Never iron a four leaf clover.

You should never press your luck.

If an AI were built using a quantum computer...

...would it identify as non-binary?

They called her Cookie because she was a wafer so long.

How do vegans quit smoking?

Cold Tofurkey

Fred believes he may identify as a beach.

But he’s not shore.