Gordisms...

 

Fred usually gets the grilled salmon but last night he had the fish special. 

Just for the halibut.

Fred is obsessed with IKEA furniture.

He has Stock Home Syndrome.

The airport has started an investigation after several travelers discovered pointed pieces of metal in their luggage.

There's been a spike in cases.

There are so many forms of martial arts.

It's kind of Kung-Fusing.

Cocaine jokes are pretty funny.

The one-liners make me snort.

You might think twenty parking spaces aren't very many.

But it’s a lot.

Fred wears memory foam insoles in his shoes.

So he can remember why he walked into the next room.

Fred wanted to marry a carbon 14 expert.

But all she wanted to do was date.

My car told me it needed fuel today…

It was gas lighting me.

Someone tore the fifth month out of my calendar....

Now I'm dismayed.

Say what you want about high rollers…

They put the "bling" in gambling.

Jackson Pollock: Great artist, worst ever pictionary partner.